Dear Noelle, Happy Birthday, from Mom. December 16th, 2022.

 Dear Noelle,

Today was your birthday, you would have been two years old. You were in my thoughts all day long, I miss you more than words can say.

I hope to celebrate your memory tomorrow with your dad and brother, Bond; by looking at photos, holding our memory bears, and lighting your candle.

Today I actually was quite busy. The school your brother attends was having a lot of fun winter activities, and your mom volunteered almost all day. In fact this entire week there was not one day that I didn’t have at least five things on my calendar.

You, and your identical twin sisters (that you never met because it was before your brother was born) have been on my mind and heart for months now, every day.

I also made sure to finally take care of myself. See the doctor and get some medicine to help my brain from not over stressing. After we lost you we also lost many other family members. It’s been a rough last two years.

Noelle, you were one of the most incredible, beautiful little babies I’ve ever seen. To hold you was heaven, and I miss every moment we had with you.

It brings me comfort knowing I pumped milk for over ten months, and donated in your memory to those in need from St. Louis to Kansas City. Having you changed my life in so many ways.

I’ve been on quite the roller coaster and doing as best as I can. My heart still aches because I wish you were here.

We dream of one more living child, that we can hold, take home with us, and watch grow up. If you find the perfect soul to send to us, please do. Your mom is not getting any younger and your brother would adore a sibling to play with. Bond misses you so much, I can’t believe it’s been two years. This hour two years ago, I believe, we were gathered as a family and we spent time together, all four of us took pictures too. And then we would only get a few more hours with you before your spirit left. I remember that moment too. I hope where your spirit is, that your grandma and great grandma, finally got a chance to hold you. They didn’t get a chance to when they were alive, nor did most your family. There just wasn’t enough time.

Until we meet again my sweet little peanut. You were perfect in every way and I’m so thankful you were a part of my life, a part of you will forever be with me.

Thank you for choosing us to be your family. You were a blessing. I love you! I miss you! My dear Noelle Alberta Hope. My daughter, forever and ever.

Love,

Mom